One probably-helpful-to-lots-of-people-but-not-to-me piece of advice: “If you’re having trouble writing for an ‘audience,’ try picking one person and write only for them.”

This actually strengthens my paralysis.

There’s a different reading that’s interesting, though.

Writing is, by itself, helpful to me. When I write, I feel better, think better, I’m more pleasant to family, friends, and passersby. Exercise comes easier. My Sense of Impending Doom knob is turned at least three clicks to the left.

But why publish? Why not just journal?

It’s these questions of “Why publish this?” that remain, even when it’s clear that writing simply makes me happier/nicer/better: “Why are you putting this out there? Who is this for? Who gives a damn about this?”

The answer that satisfies me right now is: “Maybe one person.”

So, to me, writing “for one person” means that if what I’m writing, along with all the attendant benefits to my health and happiness, could possibly be of use or of interest to one person who I may never know, then that’s a good enough reason to press publish.

I think of those who have written the half-baked, way-too-niche, sometimes-cringey stuff that helped me along the way. Thank God they didn’t let ego bullshit stop them.

The vast majority have never, and will never, hear from me, but I’m at least one person they wrote for.