I’ve spent most of my life with an extreme attitude toward myself: Either I’m the greatest or I’m the worst, and since I’m very rarely the greatest, I’ve mostly been pretty mean to myself.

When I’m at my best is when I don’t have an opinion about myself one way or another.

The most reliable way I’ve found to get out of this vortex of self-judgment is simply to do something for someone else. The next best way is just to get up and move for an extended period of time in an easy way.

Anything, but the easier the better.

Self-centeredness is attached to a moral judgment. Being self-centered is akin to being “bad.” But intentionally focusing on oneself is encouraged everywhere.

It’s easy to see why a thirsty person in a boat in the middle of the ocean would think about drinking sea water.

“Am I doing okay?” “Am I good enough?” “Am I bad?” All these questions go away when I’m fully present to my life, and I become present to my life when I do things, especially things for others.

“But am I bad if I don’t do things for othe—” shut up, please.

I’m tempted to go full woowoo on this, but I’ll try and hold back. The reality is that when I’m really here, engaged with the life I’ve been given, I have moments where I realize I haven’t thought about myself in quite a while.

And those moments are great.