I picked up a few books yesterday and looked at them, nothing more. I opened the books and saw some words on the pages, thought a little bit about what the words said. I think I enjoyed this. It doesn’t have to be a Thing.

For the last many years, I’ve made reading a Thing. I’m doing it to Get Better, to Unlock Secrets, to Improve Myself.

That was miserable. Well, maybe not miserable, but it certainly wasn’t fun. And so eventually I stopped doing it.

I’m surrounded by books. I’ve got hundreds of them. These are books I’m interested in.

For the past 20 years, I’ve thought “I should read these.”

I read some of them. A lot of them actually, but only those that were justified. Also, I didn’t read them well enough.

Also, I’m a slow reader, so I read a dozen books about how to read faster.

Now the pile of books I was supposed to read at one point is so large that I walk past it, vaguely resentful. Under the resentment is a sadness.

I miss exploring.

Exploring is a different concept from reading, at least the way I’ve perverted the concept of reading.

Exploring isn’t a Thing. Reading has become a Thing. I’m done with Reading.

So I’m going to go grab another book off the shelf, look at it, see what it looks like on the pages for a few minutes. Maybe there will be something there. If so, great. If not, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t have to be a Thing.

Holy shit Jefferson Davis eloped with Zachary Taylor’s daughter (Zachary Taylor hated his ass) and then she immediately died and then Davis won some war shit for Zachary Taylor and Zachary Taylor said his daughter was a better judge of character than he was.

How ‘bout that shit?