It turns out, some people don’t like argument. Worse than that: Argument makes them feel attacked. 🤯

Debate might be my favorite thing: for understanding, for fulfillment, or just for fun. It took until my thirties for me to learn there are many who don’t like it at all.

Of all the things I’m not proud to have taken so long to learn, this might be the worst.

All the times I was puzzled when someone shrunk away or changed the subject or simply avoided disagreement with me altogether… It never occurred to me that they might not enjoy arguing.

I thought maybe they weren’t as committed to their positions or not as quick with their rebuttals but… how could you not enjoy arguing? That’s like not enjoying winning. Or something.

To make matters worse, many of these people who don’t like argument have been those closest to me.

In recent years I’ve begun to learn to tone it down, but I would say I still have a ways to go.

I really would never want to make anyone feel attacked. Particularly not when I’m just having fun.

This kind of disconnect makes me wonder what other sources of strife in the world are simply people not being able to conceive of how different their personalities might be.