How can you make it so that everything you do is for no reason at all? In my case, I’ve needed to lose trust that reasons help. I’ve needed to become suspicious of reasons in general.
It seems like having reasons to do a thing should help motivate you to do it. This assumption sure seems reasonable.
But what if it’s the opposite? What if reasons apply pressure which creates unnatural resistance to the thing which you would already naturally do for no reason?
Ask a child why they’re building a tower or moving on from the current crayon to choose another color. They’ll just look at you funny or mumble something incoherent.
The real answer is something like “…..because fuck you, that’s why, stop asking dumb questions.”
Studies have shown over and over again that if you take a kid who naturally doodles and draws pictures and then institute a “reward” (reason) for their drawing, they will draw less.
Yet we try to motivate ourselves with reasons.
The truth is that there’s no real reason to do almost anything. When we transform our self-orientation to boss/worker or drill-sergeant/cadet, reasons emerge as just another tool to coerce ourselves to do things. To BE BETTER.
When reasons emerge for why I should do something, the most effective strategy I’ve found is to notice them. There they are. Like clockwork. These reasons think they’re very important and interesting. They think they can help me.
They are boring and useless.
DRILL SERGEANT Okay, time to do that thing. You really should do this thing because—
CHILD Because fuck you, that’s why. Gimme that plastic vegetable. I’m gonna put it in this pot. I’m not playing with you right now.